Expectant Mommy Tips :Part I

From the moment we announced my pregnancy, I was amazed at the amount of love and generosity Ryan and I were shown. We were given many gifts. It was wonderful how excited people were to meet our baby. Since Ryan and I were moving while we were pregnant it was difficult to have any kind of real organization. But heed my warning: have a system in place. Whatever works for you, just stick with it. Here are some of the ideas that I used once we moved into our new house (when Addison was 9 days old- holy stress Batman).

1.) Keep the clothing you have for baby separated into sizes. That way you can easily see what sizes you have a lot of and where you need to fill in the blanks. You also might get a really cute outfit that you love, from a few different people. But the nice thing about that is you can just exchanged the extras for different sizes. Why not enjoy that cupcake onesie for sizes 3 months, 6 months and 9 months! And on the same token, you can take a glance at a full closet and say to yourself, "I really love this but baby has quite a few pairs of 6 month size pajamas. So I'll exchange it for 9 months and get more wardrobe balance." Baby clothes, especially Carters, are very easy to exchange/return. I almost never had a receipt and I never had a problem bringing things back.

2.) Have a separate place for all baby product instruction manuals. I have a file in my filing cabinet for all the instruction manuals that I have for things around my house. But since everything for baby from toys to furniture and even spoons and teething rings have specific instructions on use, cleaning and assembly you will have a large volume of them. Even items that you will use right away, don't get rid of the manual. Here's why. First- a LOT of baby products are intended to grow with baby and you don't want to get to the next stage and not know how to adjust the item for growth. Second- even if you are cleaning or using that item three times a day every day right now, eventually you will put the item away and then take it back out when you have another baby. I promise you, with all the gadgets you have now, and will have later, you won't remember what can be washed in cold water or what is dishwasher safe or how to assemble that swing again.

3.) Keep a stash of stamps. You will send out Thank You notes. Many many thank you notes. And I am sure that in the time that passed between when I opened a present for Addison and then realized I didn't have stamps, and then found time to buy some- I probably forgot who I sent a note to and who I didn't. It's terrible. My mom raised me better than that. But there is no way to over estimate just how stressed and busy you will be once baby is here. Showering, dressing, hair drying, and the inevitable redressing (baby puke, leaking breast milk, pureed carrots- take your pick) alone is an hour long process and then you have to start feeding again. It takes real effort and a lot of time and patience to get out the door so do yourself a favor, before baby arrives and stock up on anything you can. The last place you will want to be when you have a little one, is the post office. And like I said, people fall through the cracks.

4.) Keep a list of toys by age. If you have a few toys for baby that are for an age they haven't reached yet, keep a little list. These milestones go by so fast and sometimes the age that a gift is intended for is so brief a window that if you put something in a closet you may forget about it until that window has already passed. For instance anything that is geared toward crawling will be a short period of time.

My Postpartum Hemorrhage

I decided to write about my birth story for a number of reasons. One- I loved reading them when I was pregnant to try and prepare myself for any possible outcome. Then after I had Addison I wanted to read birth stories because I had been through this enormous change and challenge and I wanted to not feel alone. Two- because I want to chronicle the aftermath for myself. They say, you forget the pain but I haven't forgotten the trauma of being that scared. Hopefully writing it down will help. So here we go...

I didn't have the easiest pregnancy. I developed gestational diabetes in my 24th week, so I had to test my blood 4 times a day, take a pill every day and count every carb that went in my mouth when all I wanted to eat was Big Macs. Then I dealt with two kidney stones. TWO. And there was the time that I fell down the last few stairs in the middle of the night. I was fine, but because of a big bruise on my back my doctor sent me to the hospital just to be safe. All in all, I realize it could have been much worse and at the end of the day I had a totally healthy baby, so this was all a small sacrifice to make for the greatest possible good. My fear going into labor and delivery was that our daughter's journey to our arms was going to be just as eventful. Thankfully, everything went smoothly and after about 14 hours of labor Addison Casey was born at 11:43 in the morning. After Addison and I were given a clean bill of health, all four grandparents came to meet our newest family member. Later in the day a few friends came to visit and at about 10 pm at night when visiting hours were over and Ryan and I had been awake for over 36 hours, I decided to Facetime with my brother who lives in Las Vegas. I was standing in our room and holding our brand new daughter when I felt what I thought was water dripping down my leg. Ryan and I both looked down to see a stream of blood coming down, and coming down fast. I shouted to my brother that I had to go and Ryan took the baby from me as I pressed the call button.

I know it sounds silly- truly I do- but I didn't want to get blood on the bed. So instead of sitting down, I bent my knees and tried to keep the still steadily flowing blood on the tile away from my feet. The nurse came into the room and her face instantly dropped. She asked if I could reach the call button and I said yes, and pushed again. When another nurse answered the nurse at my side yelled "CALL A CODE" and then to me she said, "Get into bed!" I fought my polite instincts to cause as little mess in someone else's home as possible and did as I was told, but I slipped in what I now realized was a pool of blood that spread half way across the room.

Because I gave birth in a teaching hospital (think Grey's Anatomy)- calling a code meant every attending, resident, intern, nurse, nursing student, med student, custodian, cafeteria worker and security guard in the maternity wing came rushing into my room to find me now forced into an exam position apologizing for staining the on call nurse's shoes. They quickly determined that my uterus had not fully contracted after labor, despite the delivery room whopping to the torso I took postpartum.

I will tell you, I have never been so scared. For nine months you worry about the health of your baby. And if you think about your own health it is usually in the context of making sure that baby is getting what it needs from you. People tell you "Women have been having babies for thousands of years, don't worry", but what I wanted to say was, "Yeah and until recently it had an incredibly high mortality rate!" It is completely natural to be worried. Most likely you will have worried for no reason, but at the moment when there were, no exaggeration, 15-20 people in my room- I thought, Oh my God- I didn't prepare myself for our daughter growing up without a Mom.

'I should have written her a letter' I thought. 'I should have given her a list of the things I wanted her to know! I should have made sure she knew she was worth giving my life for. I should have told Ryan that I love him and I know he can do this on his own." I know that it sounds dramatic but when your nurse 'calls a code' and you can see more blood than floor tiles, you assume the worst. "Complications happen." You think. "And I guess I'm the 1%"

Thankfully, after much simultaneous poking and prodding from a doctor rubbing my stomach, a doctor inserting a catheter, a nurse taking my blood pressure, a nurse changing the sheets while I'm in the bed (I know. Even in my state of mind at the time I still appreciated the impressiveness of this feat.), and a nurse- believe it or not- taking blood; I was 'fine'. Sometimes I appreciate the calm tone of voice doctors and nurses use to prevent patients from panicking, and then there are times when it seems like they are dismissing your feelings as crazy. As if to say, "Don't get hysterical. A janitor mopping up blood and pale faced nurses giving alcohol wipes to traumatized new dads so they can clean the blood from their clothes happens every day." In fact, it doesn't happen every day. I thought I was going to die while my brand new baby slept in the nursery after being whisked away during the chaos. It was horrible and I will never forget it.

It is also a testament to how amazing it is to be a mom because the minute this new bundle was returned to me, she over shadowed all that. She was here and so was I. I knew from that moment on that my life became more important because of her and that thought helped every time I felt I couldn't take any more of the sleepless nights. Of course I could. Because I survived two kidney stones, gestational diabetes, twice weekly sonograms and heart monitors, a tumble down stairs, and the blood and guts story above and I am now a mommy warrior.

Tiny Tip #2- Preparing for Baby

Something that I didn't think about before baby, was the newborn photo shoot. I knew I wanted newborn pictures taken but I guess I hadn't really given any thought to when that happens. In my mind, it was a few weeks after baby was born, maybe a month. Actually since babies look different every day, in those first two weeks especially, if you choose to have newborn photos taken they recommend as soon as possible. We are lucky enough to have an incredible photographer in the family, Caroline Rocchetta, and she offered to shoot Addison's debut pictures. She prepared us beautifully for the photo session telling us what temperature the house should be at to have the most cooperative baby, she brought props with her and she was wonderful and sweet with our 11 day old infant. Thank goodness for her. The thing I wish I had done before I had baby, was to collect all the cute hats and stuffed animals or headbands that I wanted her to be photographed in. Once baby was born and I was just happy to survive from feeding to feeding. Thankfully between my husband and Caroline, we got exactly what I wanted but it could have been even easier if I just had put things together in a box somewhere in preparation for the chaos. She had been given two amazing hats of a strawberry and an apple that I would have loved her to be photographed in. I took pictures of them, but it's not the same as Caroline's beautiful shots! Seriously, tip inside the tip, use this woman-she's a talented, kind and caring woman who has the cutest 1 year old ever so she totally understands what mommy is looking for.

Yes or No: Diapers

I have been trying to come up with different post categories as I make each entry, just for the sake of searching purposes. Some are "Tiny Tips", "Must Haves" and now I will be adding to that, "Yes or No". This Yes or No will be some thoughts on diapers. I'm going to steer clear of brand suggestions and I'll talk more about that later, but instead focus on diapering accessories and new mommy temptations that I fell into.

NO
1.) Opening all your diapers to complete your baby preparations:

If you are an expectant mommy and you've already had your baby shower at some point you probably were gifted with some diapers. You also might have gotten yourself a diaper stacker like this or this. Maybe you have a cute basket that you plan on putting your diapers in that will compliment the nursery, like I do. But do yourself a favor and resist the urge to tear into that package of diapers and display them in your future darling's room. At least until they are in your arms. Here's why- just like your clothes, diapers are not created equal. You will quickly find that you prefer one brand over another for any number of reasons like fit, leaks, price, smell, chemicals or absorbency. Even though Huggies and Pampers may be close in price and close in the same pound range, they are cut differently and you might prefer one or the other at different times in your child's development. My angel, for instance, had a better fit from Huggies when she was a newborn, but as she grew and she got longer and more lean we got a better fit from Pampers. I would suggest trying the diapers that the hospital will give you first, and if they are to your liking than buy that big ole box and have at it. But just in case you have a closet full of Pampers and discover that after a few leaks you bought a small package of a competing brand and it worked better for your baby's shape, don't waste the $40 just return them!

2.) Wipe warmers, baby powder, changing tables:

Baby powder may be great for getting sand off your feet after a day at the beach, but we now know it is unsafe for baby. He or she could inhale it and it's pretty unnecessary anyway. As for wipe warmers and changing tables, I personally feel they are two examples of a waste of money. Changing tables work for a lot of people, I realize, but I felt it was a piece of furniture that would be completely useless when my baby was potty trained. And since you can put a changing pad on the floor (safest for baby but slightly less comfortable for mom) or on top of a low dresser, I would rather put my money elsewhere.

YES
1.) Diaper clutch:

When I was preparing to go on vacation for ten days to Las Vegas and San Francisco with my 6 month old, I did A LOT of reading about traveling with babies. Many moms weighed in with suggestions and tips. As helpful as those were, and I will write a post about my travel experiences soon, I really paid special attention to the items they suggested investing in. I did my homework, and decided that I would purchase a diaper clutch. This diaper clutch to be exact. I debated back and forth about this because I already had a changing pad, the one that came with my diaper bag, and everything else I needed would be in my diaper bag. In the end, I bought it (in part because I thought it was so cute). It will now be a staple at any baby shower I attend. Sure you already have a changing pad, and diapers, and wipes ready in your bag. But without a clutch, you do not have them all wrapped around your wrist neatly kept together!! It keeps all those things easily accessible and you just know your changing station is portable and just reach in your bag and pull out all your diapering essentials in one swoop. Not to mention the fact that it hangs like a wristlet, leaving you two available hands to carry baby into the bathroom. The JJ Cole clutch that I purchased also has a padded section for baby's delicate head!

2.) Vaseline:

If you go to the store to buy diaper cream you'll probably be wondering if you accidentally wandered down the perfume aisle for what they charge per ounce. When your little one gets a case of diaper rash, you'll want to fork up the cash to have the good cream on your side (I like Desitin), but for every day changes when you are going through 10 diapers a day and your baby's bum looks as smooth as a baby's... wait... you can use vaseline. It will help prevent diaper rash, much like it helps prevent irritation on your lips. And at a fraction of the price, you'll be happy to save the "good stuff" for a rare occasion.

3.) Diaper Genie:

Just get one.

4.) A list of things that make it sound like you're planning a murder, only messier and harder to stomach:

 Keep some antibacterial gel and some plastic grocery bags nearby, but out of reach of baby. How do I put this gently... sometimes your sweet angelic baby as a dirty diaper that could bring a grown man to tears and it won't always fold up nicely into the diaper pail. Keep a few grocery store bags and perhaps a roll of paper towels close by for those times when snapping the tabs on your baby's diaper seems like it should come with the sound effect of fire alarm.

Magic Erasers on the cheap!

I'm sure many of you have seen on Pinterest those posts about generic magic erasers and thought 'I should try that'. But how many of you actually ordered them from China? Well I did and I am here to tell you, that you should too! I love magic erasers. They are easy, they clean amazingly well, and you don't smell like harsh chemicals all day. But they are also EXPENSIVE. So here is a solution to that problem. They arrived 1 week later and they work just as well as the name brand. Go, purchase, clean your house without cleaning out your bank account.

Here's where I bought mine.

Must Have Registry item

Registering for my baby shower was one of the most overwhelming and stressful experiences ever. Bridal shower registry was difficult also, but it didn't have the constant overtone of "if you pick the wrong item you could kill your child". If I didn't end up liking my dishes, in a few years I could replace them. But this was one of the first decisions I was making as a parent, it had to be right!

If you can avoid this line of thinking then you're a better woman than me because it drove me insane. But in the spirit of the online reviews which most 21st century moms do now, here is a must have that I have used every single day since my daughter was born.

The boppy! It transitions from breastfeeding pillow to tummy time pillow and much more. My daughter uses it every morning to drink her bottle. It keeps her at the perfect angle and it's comfortable. We also used it when we traveled this summer to Las Vegas and San Francisco. Since we didn't pay for a seat for Addison, I kept the boppy on my lap and she slept in it the whole trip. That meant that I didn't need to get an arm cramp from 4 hours of supporting my increasingly heavy angel. The boppy has many many covers that easily zip off and are machine washable. I would suggest having a spare. We don't and it would make laundry a little easier since she's not spitting up as much anymore and I don't do laundry everyday like when she was first born. Here is a picture, please ignore my toes.

Tiny Tip #1

When you are finished with a wipes container don't get rid of it. You can use it to keep plastic bags in your car for those times you have a dirty diaper on the go. It keeps them tucked away so that not only do you not have clutter in your car but it also keeps them out of the hands of little ones who should never be playing with a plastic bag. We also keep a small container of wipes in the glove compartment and on the high chair for quick clean ups. I might do a post on the many uses of baby wipes at a later date.

First Entry!

Hello!! My name is Jenn and I am writing this blog as a place to share stories, tips and tricks, support and positive mommy vibes for all the moms out there who feel like they have something to share that may just lend a hand to a fellow mommy warrior. Being a mom is a daily journey that is way more difficult and rewarding than anyone could possibly convey before you're a mom. It's something you have to laugh and cry through to truly understand. So if you have a story of a total mommy triumph or an epically challenging day with your little (or not so little) ones, please share and help give other moms a virtual hug.

I in no way claim to be a baby expert. I'm just a mom of one who thinks on a daily basis, "I've got to write that down so I don't forget when we have another baby". I'm living and learning from my own mistakes and successes and I would love to learn from yours as well.