Sesame Place

Hey friends! First let me just say, this is not a sponsored post. My family and I just got back from two full days in Sesame Place, and I have a bunch of thoughts that I'd like to share with you all.

I don't know about you but I love Disney World. It's magical. You get transported to different mythical places, countries, periods of history, etc. as you walk through the park. Two years ago we went with my then two year old and got to experience the magic through the eyes of a toddler and it was amazing. HOWEVER, Disney with a toddler is both stressful (especially if you have a kiddo who doesn't nap well in a stroller) and expensive. Since my family would have to get on a plane or drive for two days, it's not a trip we can make every year. And if you've ever been to Disney you know that the trip back to your car alone makes coming and going a lot more daunting if you are staying off property. Now that we have a 4 year old and an 18 month old we felt it was time to do a toddler friendly theme park that was a lot closer to home. Sesame Place.

If you've never been to Sesame Place and you have kids who watch Sesame Street, you have to go. Even if your kids don't watch the show, there is plenty to enjoy between the dry and wet rides, the shows, parades and character meet and greats. So here are my top 10 tips to maximizing the fun and minimizing your budget.


1.) Get the App.  Sesame Place is under the same corporate umbrella as Sea World. Whatever your feelings about Sea World, it does give the much smaller park the benefits of the bigger parks like the App. It gives you a map, schedules and best of all discounts. I'm sure the types of discounts available change throughout the year so I won't list details, but to give you an idea- I saved $15 PER TICKET by purchasing my park tickets in the app, and then I just pulled it up on my phone at the gate. You can also make diner reservations- more on this later.

2.) Bring Snacks. Sesame Place has a policy against bringing picnic style meals, but they do allow snacks. And trust me not only will your wallet thank you, but also your kids who will not understand why you can't get off line for a ride to get a snack. And when you are surrounded by popcorn, cookies and ice cream a bag of frozen grapes will seem like the best parenting decision you've ever made. To make these snacks seems a little more appealing in a world of goodies, I also bought some Earth's Best organic treats with Elmo's face on them. They are single serve, shelf stable (no refrigeration necessary) and feature a character. We went with fruit bars and yogurt pouches. Inexpensive, filling, easy to fit in even a small bag and organic. :-)

3.) Bring refillable bottles and buy a souvenir cup. One thing that I absolutely hate spending money on is drinks. Water has one of the highest mark up prices and it almost always comes in a plastic bottle that I am vehemently opposed to on behalf of our planet. So finding a solution to staying in the park all day and not lugging an entire cooler of water around (which I couldn't do anyway) was something I couldn't quite figure out. But here's the solution I came up with. When you arrive, purchase a souvenir cup at almost any stand that has fountain drinks. We picked Abby but I also saw Elmo and Cookie Monster. They are $14.99. And I know that sounds like a lot for a cup but here's why it isn't. First, it's large. Second, it's a reusable cup so there is a lot more than a single use. And THIRD, the day of purchase you get FREE REFILLS. Technically the policy is that for every day after purchase within the year you get $.99 refills, but we didn't pay for a refill at all. Don't count on that. But even if you have to pay for refills it's worth it. We used our large cup to refill our daughters cups that we brought in with us. You can get water like we did or soda, lemonade, iced tea or apple juice.

4.) Dine with the characters. On our first day we had dinner with the characters. It was easily the best decision we made. The food is meh at best. It's sort of an odd arrangement of ravioli, mac and cheese, chicken tenders, pulled pork and hot dogs. The dessert bar is also ok, not great. But the entire hour of dinner is dancing, singing and playing with Elmo, Abby, Grover and Cookie Monster. Seriously, conga lines, the cupid shuffle, Sesame Street songs- the works. You take pictures and that's great. But you can do that "on the street" as they say in the park. The great thing about dinner is the playtime the kids get with these magical characters. I would spend that money three times over to see my kids jumping and playing with cookie monster like I did. Ok let's move on before I cry... Money wise, it depends of the age of your children to determine whether or not this is much more expensive than the other dinning options in the park. For me, my youngest was free and my oldest was only $9. If you have to pay full adult price for all your family members ($28) it might not be a great choice, but like I said my kids were enchanted and it was air conditioned- no brainer.

5.) Buy character stuffed animals and t-shirts before you go.
This one is self explanatory but just to give you an idea- I got roped into buying two medium sized Abby dolls and it cost me about $60.   -_- The Bert and Ernie I bought from Target before going were $6 each. Although to be fair their sized was more comparable to the small sized stuffed animals from the park which are $16. Still a much better deal to buy from Target. Same with T-shirts. No, they won't say Sesame Place if you buy them from Target. But is it worth the upcharge? You decide.

6.) Go on a Weekday. If you are able to get to the park on a weekday you will have a much smaller crowd. Yes you will deal with camps during the summer, but they are a little easier to avoid than an influx of families every where.

7.) Don't pay for priority parking. There are three tiers of parking at Sesame Place. And if you've ever been to Disney you might think that sounds completely wonderful, but don't bother. The lowest tier ($18) is still plenty close and as long as it's not an insanely busy day you will likely be able to get close to the entrance. There is no tram or anything, again not the scale of Disney, so in my opinion this upgrade is not worth it.

8.) Stay farther away. Ok so I'm going to contradict myself in this part. We did not stay in the partner or affiliate property hotels. However, I do think it offered a lot of great goodies. If you can stay in one of the hotels that are walking distance from the park, it may be worth it to you and your family. For example if you are going with a large group and there are nappers and non nappers, this might be a good option for bringing the younger children back for naps or at bedtime while older family members stay for the later park hours. It would also save you the $18 a day minimum for parking. However once you get off property the prices of the hotels is significantly more expensive than the hotels another 10 minutes down the road. Once you are in the car, what's another 10 minutes right? Since the area is a suburb of Philly it's pretty easy to find quality hotels. We stayed in Bensalem and it was a great area with plenty of family friendly restaurants and even a casino. It was a lot cheaper than it's sister hotel across the street and not all that much more convenient. Again, make the choice that is right for your family.

9.) Bring shelf stable lunch items. So if you are really on a budget, it is totally possible to do a day of Sesame without buying food in the park. The snacks and drinks we discussed, and you can bring in to the park. We've also covered that the parking is not nearly as much of an inconvenience as at other parks. So if you leave pb&j in the car or something in a cooler, you could definitely go back to the car to eat. We opted to eat in the park for lunch and dinner on the first day. However after a full second day we headed home for our two and a half hour drive at dinner time. Rather than spend the money and time doing another sit down meal I made pb&j sandwiches out of our trunk while my husband was packing everyone in the car. It ended up being one of the best things we did. Silly, I know.

10.) Get glow sticks from the Dollar Tree. If your kids stay up past dark, they will want all the glowing souvenirs for sale in the park. Fight off the gimmies with a multipack of glowing necklaces, bracelets and wands from the Dollar Tree. My kids also used them as makeshift night lights on the drive home.

City Mom Hacks for Everyone

Hello loyal readers!! Today I am nursing a three year old, an 8 month old and myself through a bad cold that is determined to devour my spirit whole. And even through I am covered in snot that is not even mine, I have a smile on my face for this guest post! Kayla McCaffrey is one awesome mom that has boiled down some of her favorite hacks for parenting in the city that will also work for us suburbanites. Not to mention that her little one is pretty stinking adorable and she has included pictures for your enjoyment ;-) Show her some love and she may just come back to us!


City mom hacks for everyone

Since I am coming up on a year of official motherhood, I have clearly reached expert level. I thought of no better way to impart my wisdom than to take over Jenn’s blog for a post, because let’s be real, if I started my own I would pay some kind of fee for the URL and then never post a thing. 

I read a ton of internet content (including this blog!) when I was pregnant to gather information about what to buy for a baby and what a baby can do. This was all very helpful to me, but I couldn’t find a lot of information on the one thing I was really curious about – what do I need to know about raising my daughter in a city? 

I’ve lived in New York for ten years now. I went to college here, met my husband here, and never left. And I don’t intend on leaving. So, with the only moms I knew in the suburbs, and only a suburban childhood to look back on, I needed to figure out some things on my own. This list is a reflection of my experience, but truly, I hope it is helpful to you regardless of where you call home. 

So with that, some lessons and opinions from a city mom.

• The Car Seat. Admission: I still know very little about car seats. I only just recently learned that they are not just for babies. But here’s the thing – I don’t have a car, and I hate driving and riding in them. I would prefer to take the subway at two in the morning than hail a cab. So, we don’t own a car seat. Turns out, babies travel really well on trains, planes, and buses. And, if you really need a ride in a car, that opportunity exists too. Staying steadfast on our refusal to rent a car anywhere, my husband and I hired a car from an app called Kid Car to take us to the airport once, which comes with a car seat appropriate to your child’s size and a driver that knows how to use it. 

• Babysitters. If I never hear the phrases “date night” or “mommy’s night out” ever again it will be too soon. There don’t need to be special, vomit-inducing words for this. It should happen frequently enough that it doesn’t feel like a THING. The magic about babysitters is that they are there for one reason – to watch your kid. So they work with your timeframe and they leave when you come home. One of my best discoveries was Urban Sitter. This is an on-demand babysitter app – kind of like Uber for babysitters. The sitters come vetted and there are lengthy profiles and reviews. The first one I hired literally handed me her CPR certification card when she walked in. You can even type in your child’s school and see who other parents from that school are hiring. If you’re really in a pinch (like last Friday when my husband and I had an, um, emergency need to go out to dinner with friends?) you can post a job and babysitters will apply to it. We even used it on vacation once. 

• You don’t need a lot of stuff. In addition to a car seat, there were a lot of common baby items that I intentionally did not bring into my apartment. A glider? No, I have a couch and a bed. A bassinet? She has a crib. You’ll never complain about your space being too small if you don’t clutter it – even visually. I made sure not to buy things that could not be stowed away when we were finished. If I only have one room to hang out in, I’d rather it not look like a preschool.

• Do a sweep once every month. I sold a stroller (did I really need three?) on craigslist and I have given bags and bags to a charity called the GOOD+ Foundation, which collects baby-specific items for families in need. They also take maternity clothes, although I happily gave most of those to one of my daughter’s teachers. Also toys – you really don’t need that many. If there’s something you bought or received that they don’t play with, donate it to someone who will or sell it and buy yourself a drink. Can’t have too many books, though! 

• But some stuff is critical. Just a list of things I am so happy I got: ergobaby carrier (again, no car), baby brezza, baby bjorn bouncer, bob revolution jogging stroller. There are more, but I am keeping this to top of mind. 

• A few 9-5 hacks. My husband and I both work full time and our daughter goes to daycare. My first working parent secret is really not a secret: your child has to sleep through the night if you want to perform reasonably at your job. I won’t go into all the tricks I used, but my daughter was doing it consistently at four months, mostly using the ideas from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, MD. Second tip, if you like to work out, do it in the morning. You’ll be too tired at the end of the day and you’re going to want that time with your kid before bed. I jog with the baby in the stroller and my husband does an in-home routine. Third, use your weekday lunch time wisely; this is when I shop, get my nails done, or make appointments. 

• Use your city. I can get away with not having a ton of activities in my apartment because we live in such an activity-filled place. Parks, museums, zoos, and indoor art centers are all within walking distance. And do what you would enjoy – brunch, beer gardens, and dog parks are all kid-friendly activities. 

About Kayla
Kayla and her husband Scott have been together for 9 years and have a one-year-old daughter and a three-year-old fur child. She works in development at an education nonprofit and lives in Manhattan. 

Dollar Store Baby Items!

 If you are a friend of mine, you know I love me a Dollar Tree. There are many items that I buy regularly and a slew more that I try as they come out.  Some of my favorite departments are the office supplies, the organizational bins and :: drum roll:: the BABY SECTION!! Here are 5 items for baby and toddler that you should be buying from the Dollar Tree instead of the big box stores or baby stores.

1.) Formula Dispenser

 This dispenser has three compartments and at 1/4 of the regular price, you can't go wrong.  If you have a formula fed baby, this is a must have.

2.) Diaper disposal sacks 

Even though I have and use a diaper genie on a regular basis, I still like to keep a box of these bags around. They are great for particularly disgusting diapers that might leak in the diaper genie. I also keep a handful rolled up in my diaper bag. No need to buy one of those clip on diaper bag dispensers for on the go diapering. I even use these for putting wet items in after accidents (potty training brings about wet clothes and it's gross) or wet bathing suits after the pool or beach in the summer. When you get 75 bags for just a dollar, you can't beat it. The closest price comparison I could find was 50 bags for $4.99 at Babies R Us, so clearly Dollar Tree is the way to go.

3.) Bath Kneeling Pad

I have never understood why people pay $16 for a cutesy bath tub kneeler. Sure this pink with polka dots isn't as cute as the SkipHop whale, but to me this is something I put away after the bath so I don't need it to look cute in my bathroom. My Dollar Tree always has these in the baby section, but if you can't find them in your Dollar Tree you can also get it in any gardening section. Save your knees AND your wallet!

4.) Lidless snack cup

These snack holders are great for older kids, especially in the car. And at about 1/5 the price of the big box stores, it's a steal!

5.) Outlet Covers

 

This exact same product by the Safety First brand is $2.99. Grab a pack, even if you have an infant who is not old enough to require baby proofing. You never know when the Dollar Tree will stop carrying a product and this one is a must have! At that price, you can grab a pack for Grandma & Grandpa's house as well and still come out ahead.

After taking pictures of some of my favorite steals (btw there are tons more) for you guys I took one more shot of the wall of Sesame Street products. There are some super cute items and I think they would make great filler for a baby shower gift as well. I picked up the brush and comb set with Cookie Monster for my 3 month old and the quality is really quite good. Not to mention that the Cookie Monster character on it is adorable.

 

Christmas 2015 #3

I am a woman of many varied talents as I'm sure most moms are. We can multitask in our sleep. One of my skills is taking something that my daughter needs and turning into something she wants. My mom always said Christmas is both a holiday of fun and necessity. Here's how I take those two seemingly opposite things, fun and necessity, and make them the same.

1.) Stocking stuffers: You can use the stocking for an opportunity to stock up on some of the little things your little one will need or use over the next year. For example:

-band aids with a favorite character
-toothbrushes with a favorite character
-crayons (we go through a lot!)
-personalized utensils (there must be a lost fork vortex in our kitchen)
-funky socks/underware
-hair bows/ hairbands/ headbands
-character cups or personalized cups (one of those things that also gets left/lost everywhere we go)

2.) Clothing: Unless you have a lot of second hand clothing from an older sibling or family friend (lucky you!!) chances are that you are shelling out a fair amount of money each season for your growing kiddo. Christmas is a time that offers great deals (although if you can wait for any reason until after Christmas you'll find even more discounts). I don't know about you, but when I was little I remember taking my first look at the tree after Santa had come and I could instantly recognize the pile of boxes that contained clothes. They were the least fun presents to open for a few years there. I'm sure there will come a time that no matter what I do my daughter will want to open the boxes shaped like Barbie's first- but to hold that off as long as I can- here is what I do to make clothing exciting.

-Licensed characters are your friend. If your child doesn't have a character that they enjoy, or if you don't expose them to any (no judgements either way!) then maybe a favorite color!
-Favorite activities. If your kid loves ballet class there are shirts with ballerinas, if your little one is in soccer... you get the idea. Make it fun!
-slippers
-Animals (got a dog lover on your hands? panda? There's a top for that)

3.) Milestone development items

If you have a one year old or maybe a two year old who isn't in a bed yet, Christmas might be a great time to get them excited about it by picking up a comforter set. Or if potty training is around the corner for you, maybe Santa could bring a big kid potty and books to match! Maybe Mom and Dad had the same idea as Santa and they bought big boy/girl underwear! In our house we are on the verge of adding a new baby to the mix. So the phrase of the moment is "Big Sister". Many of my daughters presents will revolve around that concept. She's either getting things that encourage her excitement over no longer being a baby, like a purse and flavored chapstick which she refers to as lipgloss, or things for her own baby doll so she can be like Mommy. Some of it is subtle and some is not, but the message this Christmas will be, regression is not fun: being a big girl is way better than being a baby. I'll let you know in a couple of months if it helped to stem the tide.

Thanksgiving DIY

I have a dollar store quick and easy DIY for you guys. It requires 0% craft skills and about $2. Here we go...

Framed seasonal cards. I know- it's laughably easy. But since I still see prints similar to these framed beautifully in home decor stores for anywhere from $15-$40, I thought it was worth the virtual ink to remind you that you can achieve a similar look from the Dollar Tree. They sell greeting cards with beautiful designs for any and all holidays as well as the frames, which I didn't do anything to.  These cards are, don't laugh, from my home insurance company. I thought they were pretty so I held on to them. If you can't find a frame thats the right color for you- paint some! A pretty Christmas print in a gold frame would be lovely also! Here are some individual shots of my hard work ;-)

Post #2 Christmas 2015

OK I know many of you are rolling your eyes at me. Trust me, I'm not rushing Christmas. In fact, I'm trying to do the opposite. I am trying to make that incredible season be about more than the frantic need to get in all the shopping, party planning, crafting, decorating and outings in the 25 days we're given. I personally would rather pick 1 or two DIYs and a few family traditions to put me in the holiday mood, than rushing about the crowded stores with what I call the "Christmas Monsters" (aka the people who ruin your cheer by being rude everywhere you go). So since I can't get pictures with Santa done in September and the Christmas decorations need to wait, I would rather accomplish the shopping that I can do in advance and enjoy that time with my family. Who's with me??

So my next few tips have to do with surveying your children's activities and make a list of the teachers, coaches, babysitters, dance instructors etc. that you would like to buy/make something for. This is especially helpful if you plan on DIY'ing something for a large number of people because that is just the type of thing that will have you up at 3am on December 20th covered in glitter and hot glue and cursing the month of December. I plan on doing one or two DIY gift posts, but for now here are my thoughts for those who prefer to purchase.

1- Personalized gifts from Etsy

I know this is vague, but there are soooooooo many options out there. The bottom line is, go to Etsy and type in "dance teacher gifts" or "soccer coach gift" or my favorite- "music teacher gift" and you will get everything from adorable tumblers to jewelry that are appropriate for either gender. Even if you decide not to buy, it's a good place to start for DIY inspiration! If all else fails try "personalized ____" and add an item you think they might enjoy like a keychain or a coffee mug. You can hardly go wrong with either of those items and adding their name gives it a special touch.

2- Body products/candles 

This may be one of my favorites! I love getting, and people love giving, bath products for gifts. They are especially great for people that you would not feel comfortable guessing sizes for or maybe you don't know them on a personal level. If you wait until the month of December you will have tons of delicious smelling options that are holiday themed. But if you are hoping for a more wide range of scents, or if you are perhaps giving this gift to someone who does not celebrate Christmas and don't want to buy "Santa's Helper Soap" than shopping now for the summer clearance scents is a great idea. This is a particularly awesome time to buy seasonal scents if you are looking for an array of floral and perhaps apple or pumpkin fall scents. I know those are my personal favorites, and if I thought someone thought ahead an entire retail season to buy me those scents I would be very touched. You can also get great deals this time of year!

3- Gift cards

If you know that you are a one size fits all kind of shopper who sticks to gift cards for anyone that may or may not enjoy what you pick out, why not do your gift card shopping now so that the visa bill doesn't take the color out of your hair in January?! Besides much like the bath and body products, I find that the selection of designs is more appealing as well as neutral this time of year. Maybe I've mentioned this a time or two ;-), but I am a stasher. If I can accomplish gift card purchases slowly over time it doesn't hurt as much in January. It also helps to have a stash in case you have a last minute thank you to give or you forget it's the last day of a certain activity and you want to have a little Starbucks happiness to add to a card or thank you note.

The best thing you can do in order to keep both your stress level and bottom line low, is plan in advance. If you have no idea what you want to give anyone, that's OK. Even if all you do at this point is to make a list of all the people you plan on giving gifts to and set the amount you are willing to spend on each individual then you can plan your budget over the next three months. If you're going to spend a few months paying for the gifts you give, it's better to pay yourself for the few months before, rather than paying the credit card company with interest after.

Christmas 2015

I know some of you saw the title of this post and winced. I know, I know, it's just barely July and beach season is in full swing. You're not ready to think about Christmas yet. But hear me out... the summer is a great time to start your holiday shopping, especially for your little ones. My daughter is only 2, so she's not yet old enough to have a wish list. That makes things in the present department a little easier. However- even if you have older children you can still take advantage of summer savings. Here are some ideas.


1.) School supplies.
If you have a budding artist at home there is no better time to stock up on art supplies than during the back to school sales. Last year I bought my daughter a backpack and filled it with fun art projects for my daughter. (You can see the post on that here) But even if you aren't making a big gift out of it, crayons, markers and the like make great stocking stuffers.

2.) Summer toy clearances.
Many stores are now doing a version of Black Friday sales in July. Amazon and Target are great examples. You can find a great list of Target's toy clearance sales going on now on the krazy coupon lady website. Target Toy clearance

3.) Clothing.
Right now stores are trying to make room for the new fall items that will come out for back to school shopping, which leads to great deals on off season clothes. You can take advantage of the back to school sales as well, but check the clearance racks for extremely marked down sweaters and winter gear. (After 4th of July is also a great time to think of next summer's needs. Pick up a bathing suit that's a size or two bigger than your little ones are right now.)

4.) Spreading out the payments.
My husband and I are firm believers in not leaving a balance on our credit cards. Thankfully we have never been in a situation where we are unable to pay our cards in full. So in order to avoid interest charges as well as not getting whacked with an enormous bill in January- buying presents slowly throughout the year helps spread out the payments.

5.) "Summer toys"
Many toys that are considered summer toys go on clearance at the end of August. But there are plenty  of those toys that can be used throughout the year if you're creative enough. For example in our house we have outdoor balls that do not come in the house and indoor balls that don't go outside. You can get those large rubber balls for less than $2 at the end of the summer. There are also a lot of pool or water table toys that can be used as bath toys. Christmas aside for a moment, I also like to pick up things at the end of summer for the next year that tend to wear out. You can store brand new bubbles, swimmies and pool noodles in your garage and next year not only will you not have to worry about buying new ones, but you will have gotten them all for pennies! (Keep those clearance stickers on- it's like a little high to remember the deal you got when all the circulars are showing those same items for nearly 90% more!)

This is the first post in a series about holiday shopping that I will be doing as well as possibly a few posts about the gifts I make for my daughter. Stay tuned! Now forget about the cold and go enjoy the vitamin D and pool time!

Children's Christmas Ideas: Backpack

Hey all! Long time no post. Sorry- the holidays are kicking my butt. Luckily I prepared in the present department! At Thanksgiving my plan was to give you a run down of all my present suggestions, but then I decided that it was too big a project and maybe instead I would show you some closer to Christmas that you could use as possible inspiration for last minute gifts or for other gift buying occasions throughout the year.

This first idea come directly from under my tree. One present that my daughter will receive in just over a week is a backpack filled with art supplies. I try to use Christmas to stock up on fun activities for the year- or at least until the Easter bunny comes and replenishes us.


I chose the skip hop backpack in the ladybug design. Of course I got it on sale, and you can find it in a number of stores as well as amazon, in many many different animal designs. My daughter will be 2 in February so the toddler size was a must. I couldn't love this backpack more. It's adorable, and is the perfect size for her to take a snack, a book, a toy and a water bottle with her wherever we go. Obviously my backpack needs a little steam since I ordered it online and it's a tad wrinkled.

The next step in my backpack of artsy fun was to collect some age appropriate art supplies to fill it with. If you're in a hurry you could accomplish this process in one trip to Staples, but since I'm a girl who likes a bargain I had to plan. Sometimes last minute purchases can't be avoided, but I have always felt that the 11th hour was for people who can afford it. Since I wanted to fill this bag to the brim I did some of my Christmas shopping during the back-to-school sales weeks. Here was my loot:

Crayola, in my opinion, is unbeatable. I have tried many other brands hoping to get good results with cheaper products but it's just a waxy breakable mess. So I picked up the 24 count crayons, colored pencils, thin washable markers, and two boxes of the thick washable markers for between $.25 and $.50 a package. Back-to-school shopping is not just for students and teachers. Always take advantage when you can. In fact at the time, I bought 10 boxes of crayons and just dolled them out as needed. The finger paints, pom poms, gel pens and construction paper I got from the dollar store. The dollar store should never be overlooked when it comes to art supplies. The color wonder sets I got from Kohl's on Black Friday when they were about 60% off. And the washable paint set I picked up at Target for $2.50 along with the paint brushes that were on sale for less than $2. 

The last minute gem that made me so happy is a book by skip hop that features the backpack I purchased! Since my mom is a teacher, she and I were able to attend a Scholastic Book Fair this week  at their warehouse. Since they were trying to cut down on their stock and make room for new books, their entire warehouse was 50% off. I'm sure you can get this book for the full price of $4 and not have it break the bank, but like I said- discounts are my high. It's a board book with pull tabs for hidden surprises. Perfect for a toddler!

All told I probably spent about $20 on this gift and it will give my daughter creative fun for a year. My only disclaimer is that I bought a number of items which are recommended for ages greater than hers. But I know my child and what she can handle. So with the ample amounts of supervision that she will have for projects such a painting, I'm not worried. You should fill your bag with all the things that your child can safely enjoy. Keeping in mind that next Christmas is a year away, and maybe they won't be ready for markers now, but they will in 6 months. :-) 

I also think this would make a great birthday present and the skip hop company has a ton of matching accessories if your child is not interested in art supplies. You could get the matching lunch box, or water bottle. They even have matching towels and blankets. So many possibilities. Merry Christmas!!

What's in my "Mommy Must Have" Bag?

OK so here is my the current full contents of my Mommy Must Have bag. It's the medium sized cosmetics bag that I bring everywhere. If we are out and about, rest assured this bag is somewhere in my possession. There are a few items that rotate in and out depending on the season (i.e.: sunscreen or bug spray), but the rest are staples that I keep around all the time. This obviously is not the full contents of what I carry with me, but it's all the small items that can be gathered together.

Here is a shot of everything laid out on my kitchen table.

First, let's just get the TMI portion out of the way. I always have feminine products with me. In fact I usually have two of each because I was always told that the girl code with tampons is, 'If you have a spare, you have to share' so I am prepared for you too- lady-in-the-stall-next-to-me-who-had-to-ask-a-stranger-for-some-help.

2- Lotion. 

Whenever I would play that game where someone asks what three things I would bring to a desert island my answer is always the same: lotion, lotion, lotion. I'm obsessed. So I have lotion strategically placed through out my most frequented places like my night stand, my car and of course, my bag. In fact here you can see- I have two.

3-  Chapstick.

EOS for me and vaseline for Addison. Occasionally she will want/need it and I can better control the amount I use on her when it's a little tub. Plus it's so cute and smells so good!

4- Mouthwash

This started recently when I got three of my four wisdom teeth removed. I needed to rinse and spit after I ate since I had a giant hole in my gums. After that I kept refilling this tiny bottle because I liked having it for when I was out and about and just needed a refresher. 

5-  Ibuprofen

Someone always has a headache it seems. Lately that someone is me.

6-  Hair ties.

I have some for me and some for Addie because you never know when you are gonna need to get your hair out of your face.

7- Deodorant 

It's a tiny little insurance policy for the mom (me) who is often in such a rush out the door that she gets where she is going and remembers that she never put on deodorant. Voila, problem solved.

8- Neosporin and bandaids

Ever since my little one learned how to walk, this became introduced to my permanent collection. 

9- Tissues

One of the most highly used items in this bag has got to be tissues. 'Nough said.

10- Shout wipes and a Dollar.

 First let me address the dollar. I always have emergency money. A dollar might not seem like enough, but it's the amount I keep in this bag. It's a mommy bag don't forget, so it could buy you a snack if you find yourself without one. I also have higher amounts in my car and in my purse. You never know. And the shout wipes are an obvious winner when you have little ones that spill on themselves, you, the car, strangers... you get it.


It seems like a lot when you lay it all out one item at a time, but it really all fits in this one little pouch in my purse. In case you're wondering it's a cosmetics bag by Vera Bradley. What's in YOUR mommy pouch?

Dear New Moms.

Dear New Moms,

Hi! Welcome to the sisterhood. I would like to share a couple things with you that maybe you haven't heard before, or if you have, bears repeating. You are about to understand the theory of relativity way better than Einstein ever did. The moments of your life are about to come racing at you, in slow motion. Sound confusing? It is! From the moment they put that bundle of joy in your arms, and you begin to study and memorize your child's delicate features- they change. By the time you post the pictures you took on the first day of their life to your facebook page, they already look a little different. It goes by in an instant; and yet you feel like it's been an eternity since they were born because that's how long it's been since you had any sleep! My daughter is 17 months old today, and I can't believe that she's telling me what she wants instead of crying in morse code. (BTW, if you come across any of those articles that try to describe the different types of cries, so that you can address their needs sooner- don't bother. Ya know what happens? They scream their fool heads off and you play guess and check until you either fix the problem, or come to the point where you've tried everything and anything you've ever heard babies may like- and it didn't work- so now you're going to plot your revenge on the last person who ticked you off and simultaneously question why anyone would let you go home with a baby?! Couldn't they tell in the hospital that you weren't equipped to handle this sort of thing? Relax, no one is. Babies cry, and you can too. We won't judge.)

If you plan on breastfeeding, and I encourage you to, think of it as your full-time job for at least the first 2 months. I lost my milk 8 weeks in because I was trying to do too much, and therefore letting my husband get up with her once a night to supplement. Ya know that one kid in high school health class who would ask, "Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?" Well it's not true for that, but it is true for breastfeeding. It's all consuming. And if that means that during the day you don't have the time or energy to clean your house, or host company than I am officially giving you permission to say no to visitors. Or if you are home alone and ready for some adult conversation or another set of arms, than take solace in the fact that no one expects you to have polished furniture or gourmet meals prepared. If someone asks if they can come see the baby, it is also perfectly ok to say, "Sure but let's not set an exact time. Can I call you when it's a quiet moment?" or if they ask what they can bring don't say nothing just because you are trying to be polite. Tell them what you'd like! Or maybe something like, "Anything you pick up will be fine" No one wants to be an imposition, they just happen into it. So help them, help you! You deserve any little help you can get.

You're gonna cry for no reason. You're gonna cry because you have a lot of reasons. Let it out. Pick a friend, a blog, a parent or even your spouse who will listen to you say terrible things with no judgement. Know that at some point you are going to question whether or not you should have had a child. Know that at some point you are going to resent the loud intruder in your home. Know that at some point you are going to try to reason with an infant about how unfair it is that s/he gets all his/her needs met, and you are not getting yours! Also know that everyone feels that way. That it's fleeting. That one day you'll be crazy enough to want to do this all again. Know that a shower or a nap have magical healing powers, and that even though it's still true- you are a mom- you'll feel like a person again and be ready to go back to one on this day. Because somedays being a parent is like being in a 12 step recovery program- and you just need to take it one day, hour, or minute at a time.

Oh, and shave you're legs- you'll start to remember that you used to be a woman too!

Love and Solidarity,
Jennifer

Thanks Mom

My mom has always shared stories with me about when I was little. My friends joke that the Hegmann's take out the trash and it's a story. It's something I have always love about my family, we are story tellers. We also love to give each other a hard time. So when my mom told me that she used to give me a dust cloth when I was very little and we would dance to Lionel Ritchie while polishing the living room furniture, I couldn't let it go. I joked that Kathy Lee Gifford doesn't have monopoly on the child labor market. I kid her that even in third world nations the kids get paid at least a nickel an hour, I was doing it for free! I asked for college credit for all my years of manual labor for which I was paid with "experience".

Then I had my daughter and the jokes stopped. I watch my daughter take napkins, towels, socks- anything she can grab, and try to help me clean. I watch the look on her face when I ask her to throw something in the garbage and she can follow through. The self-esteem she gets from contributing to the household and helping Mommy, is astounding. And in those moments I can't help but think, "Thanks Mom".  I never realized that when she told me that I could watch Sesame Street and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and then the T.V. went off, it was a gift. We danced together. We cleaned together. I learned to take pride in my home. I learned to clean up after myself. I learned that there is great satisfaction in contributing to the family success. And I got to spend time with my mom. I got to know her as a fun person and not just the person who kisses my boo boo's and fixes my dinner (although she did both of those things as well).

The older my daughter gets the more I realize that my mom was mothering me even when I didn't know. Perhaps, especially when I didn't know it. And I am grateful that she had (and has) expectations of me, even at a very young age. Because those expectations never exceeded my capabilities, and often they helped me see my capabilities for what they really are.

I know that someday my daughter, if she's anything like me, will probably make a joke about how I would wait 10 minutes for her to pick up her toys one by one and put them in the toy box when I could have done it myself in less than a minute. She will probably remind me that she and I would clean the bathroom together, each of us with our respective sponges. Maybe she will ask me if I broke any child labor laws by dusting together. And I will laugh, all the while knowing that one day she will see me through different eyes- and think, "Thanks Mom"

Baby Weight

After my daughter was born I lost 20 pounds in the first week. She was only 8 pounds of it, so I really felt like the rest of the weight was going to be easy. And then I plateaued. For a while. It was frustrating but I kept reading these blog posts that basically all said, it took you 9 months to put on the weight, it will take you 9 months to get back to where you were. I tried to have patience with myself. But it's not easy when the people around you can be, well, rude morons. I remember I went to Home Depot to get a copy of a key made and I had my 3 1/2 month old daughter with me. The guy at the key machine asked me a few questions about her and then said, "Boy you're really gonna have your hands full with her and the one on the way."... He thought I was pregnant. I guess I understand how if he didn't think about the math- he could see that my weight was all in front and that I am other wise a petite person with small legs and arms so it's more obvious. I wanted a sink hole to open up under my feet. I just smiled and said, "Oh we are just working on the first one still." He looked completely unfazed. I remember being angry at how unfazed he was. You just told a woman that she looks visibly pregnant and she wasn't, how do you not apologize or at least have the courtesy to blush?!

Before that I went to the dentist when my daughter was 6 weeks old. The receptionist there has known me since I was an infant so she knows what I usually look life and when she over heard me talking to the dentist about the baby she said, "Did you say something about having a baby?" and I said "Yes, I just had a baby." I was beaming as any new parents does. I couldn't wait for her to ask questions about her so that I could break out the pictures and brag about my perfect angel. Instead she said, "Well that explains the belly." And I laughed. Laughed so that I wouldn't make her feel embarrassed. She followed up with, "How old is she?" and when I answered 6 weeks she said, "Oh well that really explains the belly."

I always do that, I thought on my drive home. I always and smiling politely when other people say rude things so that it's not uncomfortable. Why am I making myself laugh when someone calls me fat to my face? They SHOULD feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. They acted like an ASS. Yes, it really did explain the belly. And if it didn't, it's absolutely still rude and cruel to say. It's almost like people think to themselves, 'Gee, that woman with the baby doesn't realize that she's not pregnant anymore and she still has a belly. I think it's my duty as a peripheral character in her life, or even better total stranger, to let her know that she needs to loose weight. Because the day before you give birth your belly is adorable and the day after it's disgusting. Clearly, she doesn't know that.' If they thought for one second that they were saying anything I didn't think 100 times a day they were mistaken.

Then, about 8 months after I gave birth I needed new jeans. I was trying to avoid buying anything because I didn't want to commit to the size I was. I was really struggling with the last 10 and I still wouldn't accept defeat, but the fact was nothing fit- everything was either too big or too small. I went to Old Navy and tried on a few pair. A woman that worked there, we'll call her the Angel of Kindness, had been helping me before I went in the fitting room and when I came out disgusted and discouraged, I handed them back to her. She asked me if she could fetch me a different size and I said, "No. I'll be back when I am the size I want to be." and like the Angel of Kindness she is she replied, "Don't be too hard on yourself, you have a beautiful gift." I walked out of that store having bought nothing but I wasn't empty handed. I can't say I am not ever hard on myself, but I can say that I think of her kind words often, and in many places in my life.

Since then I have found a new routine that is helping everyday with loosing weight and I am happy to say that even though I am still not at the ultimate goal, I am officially smaller than I was before baby. But if I wasn't that wouldn't make me less of a person. So to all the people who speak before they think, do the world a favor and SHUT UP! Please?

Toddler Foods

Ahhh I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. I'm sure if you are reading this you are a parent and you can understand how drastically my life changed when my darling daughter learned to walk. Add to that a first birthday party, mommy and baby being out of commission with rough sickness, losing my computers hard drive (more on this later), getting sick AGAIN and going on vacation (awesome trip and I'm not complaining but travel with kids requires tons of planning and is fun but not so much with the restful) and you can understand why I've been absent.

So now to the topic at hand. Food. After breastfeeding ended for us we were forced to switch to formula. Once that happened Ryan and I used to joke that we wouldn't know what to do with all our spare income after she graduated off of formula. I would think to myself at least 4 times a day that I couldn't WAIT for real food. Making one family meal and giving Addison a portion. We would eat well, and therefore she would eat well. And then she actually did graduate to real food being her primary source of nutrition. And it was totally different than I thought it would be.

We have two main daily struggles: One- she has days when all she wants to eat is Mac and Cheese. Two- She is not a good chewer.  I never know what kind of eater she will be that day. Some days she will literally eat spicy calamari or black olives and blue cheese. And some days chicken is greeted with a face of disgust and she spits it out. I have to make her a separate dinner a lot, either because she is being picky or because I know she can't chew what we have. When I say she can't chew, I don't mean she only has 8 teeth and chewing isn't easy. I mean she doesn't really attempt chewing most of the time and she will swallow food whole. So just when I think I have found a great lunch item for her that is easy to chew (or not chew), she will suddenly decide that food is on the list of "not on your life" foods. It can be frustrating.

In the spirit of preventing frustration in others, here are some foods we have all the time. This is by no means a complete list foods that she eats nor am I saying this is a go-to for total nutrition. These are just some staples in our house that work for us and maybe you could incorporate one or two in your house to make things easier for yourself.

Breakfast:

Oatmeal
Aunt Jemima lil Griddles mini pancakes. These pancakes are the perfect size for a toddler. They come in a few flavors and a small stack gets nuked in the microwave for 30 seconds. Can't beat how easy and delicious they are. Most days Addison will have two pancakes with half a banana and a piece of sausage.
Bananas. Addie loves a lot of different fruits but bananas are by far her favorite. She eats a banana a day. I like them because they are portable and I can break it apart with my fingers if I don't have silverware or a plate.
Brown n Serve. One minute in the microwave and it puts a little protein in her first thing in the morning.


Lunch:

Whole wheat tortilla quesadillas. OK here is one of my favorite mommy quick tips are the Perdue Short Cuts. They are small packages of grilled chicken breast strips. They come in a few flavors and all of them are good. I get them from Costco, but you can get them at any supermarket. I use them in a lot of different ways, like on top of a quick salad for lunch. But Addison's favorite way is on a tortilla with some shredded cheddar and a little salsa. Then I cook it in a dry skillet. You can brush a little olive oil on the outside if you want, but since Addie doesn't chew well I don't want the tortilla to get crunchy so I leave it dry. She gobbles this up.

Peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat potato bread. I like the potato bread because it keeps in the cabinet longer and we use low sugar options for the jelly. Light on the peanut butter so it doesn't pose a choking hazard! Addison doesn't care for crust, so I cut it off and save it in a ziplock baggie for feeding the ducks.

Grilled cheese. Whole milk cheese slices and I sometimes add a slice of tomato in the middle because, as I will tell you later, Addison LOVES tomatoes.

Cream Cheese and Jelly or CC and Cucumber on whole wheat bread.

Easy Mac. As I mentioned, Addie loves Macaroni and cheese. She would eat it breakfast lunch and dinner if she could. So easy mac is a great quick, and portable option that I can throw in her bag if she is going to visit Grandma and Grandpa for dinner and doesn't care for that night's menu options. But we also use them at home for lunch. I can also hide healthy items in the macaroni and she often won't notice that she is also eating broccoli.

Sides:
Avocado
tomatoes 
watermelon 
apple
raisins
mandarin oranges canned in fruit juice
pineapple
banana
sweet potato
corn
Steam bag of frozen veggies (the mixed veggies often come cut up in toddler sized pieces!)
peanut butter crackers
string cheese
yogurt bites
strawberries
blueberries
blackberries
cantaloupe
pear


I will use all of these as either sides to a meal or as a snack. Many are portable, easy, inexpensive and don't require a lot of preparation or refrigeration. All things that help me in my day, and hopefully will help you!

Mommy Guilt

I'm a Catholic. I thought I knew guilt. Then I became a mom and realized that Catholic guilt ain't got nothin' on mommy guilt. No matter how hard I try, I can't block it out. It started from the minute I peed on that stick and got two lines. My daughter was still a clump of cells the size of a poppy seed and already the books I purchased were telling me that everything I knew about food, exercise, beauty products, vitamins, sun exposure, travel, doctors, bodily functions, hormones, pain management, clothing, chemicals and much more- was WRONG. You read a chapter about how if you eat cold cuts your child could grow a third arm, and inevitably you are reading it while pounding a five dollar footlong. You then read that blueberries are a super food and if you're not eating them you basically aren't even trying to be a good mother, but they give you such heartburn that you burst into tears because you are already failing to provide what your baby needs. I think they should do a study to find out how much of the money spent in the baby gear industry is spent because of guilt. I bet it's a multi-billion dollar emotion. And after the baby is born, the guilt only grows. Now instead of just worrying that everything you put in your mouth is poison, you are worried about baby's needs, your household needs, your husband's needs, (insert about a million other needs here) and then waaaaay down there at the bottom of the list are your own needs. You may think that when the sleeplessness eases up, the unnecessary guilt about not being able to add hours to the day and arms to your body would go with it- but no. You are mom and the guilt never ends.


I keep trying to pinpoint a specific place of origin for it, but I think it's threefold. The books, websites, apps, magazines and TV shows show you what you "should" be doing. I think everyone does this, it's not just mommy or baby related. I know every time I watch something on the Food Network, I suddenly am appalled that we don't have a constant stream of fresh herbs on our countertops and I tell myself that I will stock up on truffle butter because it is clearly imperative in any kitchen! You're seeing what you are told is the image of perfection when you or your child doesn't measure up, it's healthy bowl of guilt for dinner. I am sooooo guilty of this. I read about food all the time. My daughter is petite and no matter how many times our doctor assures me that she is growing on her own curve and he's not worried, I still only feel relieved for about 3 minutes and then it's back to comparing different websites against the books to try and figure out why the hell some people say servings and some say tablespoons. Get together and come up with one unified system of measurement people! It's all a headache that leads back to... you guessed it.

Then there are the people around you. The people who start sentences with phrases like, "Oh you know what I do..." or "Are you <insert any topic that they feel passionately about and will only be met with total judgement if you say no or patting each other on the back if you say yes here>?" Some of these people mean well. They reflect on their child rearing days or maybe they are still "in the trenches" and they think that if they had that one little nugget of information they would have been so much happier. They want to share it. That's sort of what this blog is. It's not a bad thing. But when it is given with the implication that if you chose not to care as much about their chosen topic as they do that you are failing your child, that's when the mommy guilt is like a swipe to the knees and takes you out with one shot. It's great if your child only eats organic. It's great if you don't believe in TV or only have gender neutral toys. It's great if you are the mom who never gave your children sugar or went for a walk every day. It's great if you lost all your baby weight 6 weeks postpartum. But chances are you can't be all of those things all the time and also have time to clean yourself, your home and have a job or a date night. Somethings got to give, and you can give yourself permission to chose each given day what you are going to ignore. Today all the laundry needed to get done and my kitchen needed a deep clean, so I chose to let myself off the hook and used only baby food jars and playtime in the pack n play. Tomorrow I will chose to ignore my house. It's just reality and I will do my best to tune out the well meaning meddlers who serve up guilt in Costco sized portions.

Within those two, lies the third and most difficult of all- self imposed guilt. Sure the books may share with your the pediatrician recommended food pyramid and your neighbor may offer a friendly idea about sterilizing pacifiers. But they don't know that you are focused on nap time ritual today and that they only serve as a reminder that your child ate nothing but carbs today and your pacifiers are not so much sterilized as stuck between the couch cushions next to the Cheerios which your tot will inevitably find later and eat. That, my friends, comes from within. Sometimes advise is not dripping in subtext or judgement. Sometimes that's all you. Somewhere along the way to wanting to show that we can do anything as well as a man could we started to tell ourselves we had to be Superwoman. We ARE capable of anything. We ARE just as capable as men. I happen to think we are a lot more capable then men. I love my husband to death but he would be the first to tell you that my pain threshold is a lot higher than his and if something in our house needs to be fixed I'm the one that's going to bust out the tool box and get it done. But that doesn't mean that we have to hold ourselves up against this impossible standard of being gourmet chef, housekeeper, baby whisperer, sexy wife, organic shopper, coupon clipper, fix the toilet in high heals with a baby strapped to your chest in the ergonomically sound carrier made from earth friendly materials in a factory that would make union leaders retire. There is a reason Sesame Street taught us to cherish different types of people. I rest easier at night knowing that somewhere someone is fighting for rights I didn't even know I needed and making me aware of problems I didn't know existed. But I myself, have a To-Do list the length of my arm so for today I will make a vow. This vow will be to read about all things motherhood, but not obsess over it. To take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and do what works for me and my family. To accept that there is no right path. As long as there is love and God in my home, we are doing just fine. Everything else in moderation.

Tiny Tip #4: Formula Helper

If you have, or are going to have, or by circumstances beyond your control wind up with a formula fed baby, think about getting one of these.

You can get one on sale for a reasonable price and besides being great for cooking and baking, you can make a days worth of bottles at once in a container that has it's own spout. No mess, no fuss, quick and it takes care of all the bottles at one time.

Mommy & Me (And Mozart Too!)

So a couple of months ago I spoke to the owner of the performing arts studio where I teach voice and I mentioned that I was thinking about writing a Mommy and Me class that centered around classical music. Not only had I reached the peak of my patience for the wheels on the bus (my daughters favorite song); but I wanted her to grow up with an appreciation for classical music. I won't bore you with the statistics about the relationship between studying, playing and listening to music and math and science. However I will say that a great many people who are smarter than I am all agree that there is a great connection between them, and I knew that in a world where music and art programs are getting cut in schools left and right, it was going to be up to me to foster a love and understanding of music. She may only be 10 months old, but that was precisely the point. Every book says she can understand many words even though she may not be able to communicate with them, as well as understanding tone of voice. In other words she already understands the music of language and I want  the love of both music and language to be instilled in her from the start. Classical music is NOT just elevator music (although there is something to be said for a genre chosen to calm people in an uncomfortable situation) and somewhere along the way that's how we are taught to view it. Don't get me wrong in my house we listen to EVERYTHING. Addison dances to the Alphabet song, Justin Timberlake, Mumford & Sons, and Handel. I am in no way saying that it's classical or bust. But when every toy made for babies is singing a tune that I was tested in in a conservatory, I thought that just maybe people were looking for something that wasn't out there- something that they might not have been given themselves- exposure to classical music.

And that's how this newest baby of mine came to be! It's not a study of classical music, but rather exposure to pieces that you may have never heard and a great many you probably think Bugs Bunny wrote :-) There will be dancing, bonding, cuddling, bouncing and maybe just maybe you'll find yourself asking me at the end of class where you can find a recording of that song! ;-) Of course despite the title being Mommy & Me, Daddy, Grandma, or babysitter extraordinaire are all welcomed to be baby's partner. I hope I'll see you there! 

What was in my Hospital Bag

Hello! It's been a while since I posted because the holidays completely swallowed me whole. I'm sure you can all relate. There is more to do than any other time of the year, and yet it's the time when I feel the most pressure to cram in all the fun activities that I can into 4 short weeks. Anyway, I hope you and your family enjoyed the holiday season as much as mine did!

Now on to my hospital bag! I have seen many posts on what expectant moms should pack in their hospital bag. Lately it seems to have exploded on Pinterest and so here I am jumping on the bandwagon. But instead of just listing what was in my bag, I want to tell you what I brought because every "hospital bag post" told me to and I didn't end up needing. Here we go!

What I DID need:

1. Loofa and body wash
         Hospitals involve a lot of tubes and IV's that get taped on and when you are taking your first post baby shower you'll be glad to have a loofa to scrub the tape residue off.

2. Going home outfit
          I'm sure you've heard it 100 times but you will leave the hospital looking about 6 months pregnant. Bring comfortable clothes with you.

3. Toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, chap stick, hair ties, deodorant, razor and if you are feeling up to it maybe a little makeup. I wouldn't go crazy though. No need for a full face maybe some concealer for under your eyes and mascara. But honestly, if you have the energy to wash your face and hair, you'll feel perfectly happy with that.

4. Boppy
         If you're going to use a nursing pillow, and I would suggest you do, bring that with you. For some reason I didn't and I had my husband bring it the next day because I needed the help keeping her in a good position.

5. Nursing bras
        You're going to have company and those gowns don't do you any favors. They are thin, they are pretty transparent and besides giving you easy access to nurse, they are pretty worthless. That being said, I didn't get out of them until the day I left. I thought I would change into normal clothes after she was born, but I was so sore that even getting dressed seemed daunting. Besides, there are a lot of fluids happening those first few days. Baby looses her latch nursing and you get wet, she pees and poops all the time and it can leak, you are bleeding. It was just nice to have a rotation of gowns that I didn't have to wash and I didn't care about.

6. Bathrobe
        Again, you have company. This one is totally optional but if I were having a baby again tomorrow I would bring a big thick bathrobe, pants optional. :-)

7. Baby's going home outfit. Car seat (base should already be in the car), warm weather gear if it's cold.
        Here's a tip: The going home outfit my husband and I picked out for our daughter was adorable. I loved it. But I didn't realize what a pain it was to get on and off. Cute is important because this is an occasion that you will only have with this child once. It calls for cute. But don't pick something with a million snaps, buttons or zippers. Don't pick something that has no give. Basically think that when you are signing a bunch of forms for discharge and your husband is bringing the car around- leaving you with the baby who is crying and they are explaining your paperwork to you- the last thing you want is to have a beautiful outfit that looks great in the pictures on a baby that is screaming and a mommy who is now crying. We managed to calm her down, but newborn cries have a way of making everything tense and at that point if she wanted to wear a potato sack I wouldn't have given a crap what the pictures looked like. Find yourself some middle ground. Also keep in mind that newborns do NOT like the process of being dressed so the fewer the steps or items involved the better.

What I did NOT need:

1. Diapers

       It's probably a good idea to shove 1 or 2 in your bag just in case, but in reality most if not all hospitals will provide the diapers your little one needs during your stay and enough for the ride home. Save your arms and car space for the gifts you will likely get at the hospital.

2. Pillows

     Maybe it's because I'm not a pillow person. I use one and all but I'm not that into having a good pillow. But the birthing class that my husband and I took at the hospital where I gave birth suggested bringing one or two pillows with me. I didn't need it and in fact it took up a lot of room and was just one more thing my husband had to bring back down to the car the next day. 

3. Snacks

     I packed an entire second bag of snacks for both my husband and myself. I'm sure this will depend on your hospital, but a few granola bars and a water would have sufficed. Being a "what if" girl, I packed like I was stocking a bomb shelter, and again- it was just more crap to carry.

4. 

Tiny Tip #3: Everyday items

Here's another Tiny Tip post that is short and to the point. Here are two items that I use every day that make my life a little easier…


First my Vera Bradley All in One Wristlet. Sometimes I do use a pocketbook for my stuff, but if I am out and about with Addison, mostly I just don't want the added hassle of juggling two bags. So I have put my coach wallet on temporary leave and instead I use the all in one. It holds my money, credit cards, ID and cell phone all in one easy to grab place. It's nice because for the times that I do use my own bag I don't have to transfer a bunch of stuff back and forth worrying if I left the house without my license. Here's what mine looks like.

It's also nice when there are where the handicapped stall is broken and the place you're at has no family restroom. Sometimes you need to abandon your stroller outside the stall because nature calls, you can grab that without trying to balance baby bag, baby, and oh yeah- pee. Moving on!

The second and last item for this post is a water carafe. I got mine from Ikea, I don't have a link because you can get these pretty much anywhere. The idea is that when you are making bottles with powder formula (for those mom's that do), rather than prepare the bottles and then put them in the fridge only to need to spend 5-10 minutes warming them back up while listening to a chorus of crying the whole time.  Try keeping a nice looking container of water on the counter at room temperature all the time and make each bottle individually. When we started doing that it dramatically changed our lives. No joke. And after a while of looking at a neon Nalgene bottle on my counter I switched to this one for aesthetic reasons.

Clearly it needed to be refilled.

"It takes a village"

I have been thinking the last few days about the phrase "it takes a village" and how that meaning has changed over time. A friend of mine responded to an article about this whole 'knockout game' crap by saying, that it's what happens when parents stop parenting and instead rely on "the village". It occurred to me when I read her response how much we have changed as a society since that phrase came into fashion. 

"It takes a village" has become a cop out for lazy parents who expect their children's teachers and the media to be the ones that teach them right from wrong. Parents have relieved themselves of the responsibilities that come with raising children and instead blamed it on the society around them that is failing their kids. Violent video games, movies, TV, and the internet are the "village" their kids were given and it's not mom and dad's fault that little Billy is the type of teenager who would punch a total stranger in the head for fun. We have to reclaim this phrase because I truly believe that the message has been lost in translation. Parenting is a full-time and exhausting job. It's much harder, much more tiring and a million times more stressful than anyone could have expressed to me before I was a parent. It's also MUCH more rewarding and I have never been happier. But the village I envision is less about the child and more about a support system for the parents. You may have seen this article in the NY Daily News about a woman in New Zealand who left her infant in the car while she ran in for a few things from the store. She left a clear note with her number in case a passerby saw that the baby needed something. This was clearly a woman who needs a village. It seems like she thought this out fairly calmly, and came to the conclusion that it was ok. Obviously you should never ever leave your child unattended anywhere, LEAST of all in a car. But what pains me about this is that this mom should have had a support system in place to help her in those small ways that make all the difference- like watching her baby while she gets some groceries. It's easy to vilify her, but where were her friends and family?

I am incredibly lucky that I have both of my parents and both my husband's parents nearby. Two of those four grandparents are retired, one is semi-retired and only my mom is working full-time still. This means that I have a lot of highly qualified babysitters in my arsenal who are ready and willing to help out. I think they are the reason that I survived those first few months. When you are holding on by a thread, someone watching the baby while you shower or doing your dishes can make all the difference in your sanity. They were, and are, my village. We need to empower other moms and dads. If you have  a friend or neighbor who is struggling ask what you can do to help them to be the best parent they can be. Sometimes that means helping them have alone time. Sometimes that means making dinner, or emptying the dishwasher, or picking one of their kids up at school. Sometimes just offering helps. Let's be 'the village' for the parents we know, so that they can be empowered to raise the adults we would want as our neighbors.